he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
