Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
