Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize