So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize