i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
