She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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