I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
