If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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