i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
