she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
