zippers are such a cool invention
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
