Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
