Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am one with the molecules
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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