just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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