i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
