Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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