Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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