my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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