Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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