What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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