I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
