i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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