So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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