garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
