The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She bit a glass in half.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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