now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
