idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And then he peed in my hair
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