Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
