so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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