i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
