I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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