I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
