I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
