first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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