Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
