talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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