there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
