I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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