That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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