We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
