I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
its not stalking. its research.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
