did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
