How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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