He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
