so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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