okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let's get the cat blown out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
