how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
