the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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