so explain again why im purple
no
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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