I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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