So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
